When Greg Sysak, 46, returned to the dating world three years ago after his divorce, he was overwhelmed by the dozens of online dating sites and apps.
“It’s tough,” said Sysak, a single father of two from New Jersey. “There are so many different platforms. You can spend a lot of time, take a lot of photos, send a lot of messages, do a lot of swipes. It’s definitely a waste of time.”
Feeling lost, Sysak turned to Connell Barrett, a dating coach, for help.
Barrett, founder of Dating Transformation, works with male clients for eight weeks in what he calls a dating boot camp.
“I’m Yoda and I think of my clients as young Luke Skywalkers,” Barrett said with a laugh.
Barrett is one of a growing number of dating professionals who are helping singles revise their online dating profiles – by taking and selecting new online profile pictures, creating new online dating profiles, and even by initiating online chats and texting with potential dates – in an offer to help their customers find more and better matches.
“Part of my job as a dating coach is helping my clients create dating profiles that take a woman out of her sweep hypnosis and say, ‘Hey, look at that awesome guy,’” Barrett said.
The dating industry is a $ 3 billion empire, according to Marketdata, with around 40 million singles looking for love, or at least dating, online. Tinder reports that there are over a billion swipes saved on the app every day.
Barrett said that with so much competition, it’s hard for singles looking for real connections to break the noise and stand out.
“With online dating, the secret sauce is to break it out of its sweeping pattern, because Tinder and Bumble can become like an endless video game,” Barrett said.
To help Sysak stand out, Barrett encouraged him to shed the dimly lit photos and impersonal selfies that populated his old dating profiles, and replace them with brighter photos that showcased his playful personality.
He also encouraged Sysak to rework his biography on dating sites, so that it brought out his personality, quirks and passions.
“Most men post these very generic dating profiles that all say the same things, like ‘I like long walks on the beach’ or they post their resumes,” Barrett said. “Make a joke. Put in your favorite Beatles quote. Something that expresses who you are.”
Alyssa Dineen, founder of Style My Profile, is also a dating stylist.
“The quality of your profile determines whether someone will slip properly,” said Dineen, who also works as a dress stylist. “There are so many bad dating profiles. I thought I could help.”
Today, Dineen works with a national clientele between the ages of 25 and 75.
“I have clients in their 70s who really love Tinder,” she said. “And they are successful.”
Dineen said too many singles make the same mistakes when it comes to dating profiles: posting photos that show them wearing sunglasses. (Dineen says the sunglasses in profile photos are a definite don’ts); post photos in which they are part of a group (Dineen says that group photos make future lovers wonder which one in the photo is you); and post photos with former partners.
And then, she said, there’s the ultimate in online dating: bathroom selfies and gym selfies.
“It’s a big deal, especially with my male clients,” Dineen said, referring to the selfies men take of themselves in bathrooms and in the gym. These, she said, should be avoided at all costs.
Dineen recently helped new single Tania Brathwaite overhaul her dating profile.
Brathwaite said Dineen’s advice was a game-changer.
“I was able to relax in the dating process,” said Brathwaite. “I have no more dates now that my profile is better. Now that shows the world my real self.”
Finally, for those singles who aren’t sure what to say on future dates once a first match has been found, there’s dating coach Amy Nobile, company founder, Love, Amy. Nobile is called Cyrano in modern times. She writes affectionate notes and texts on potential dates that her clients are interested in, actually pretending to * be * her clients. His goal: to ensure that his online notes translate into a real face-to-face meeting.
“Yes, I speak for them, but it’s really harmless,” Nobile said. “Like ‘Where did you go to school?’ and “Do you have any animals?” So I’ll never say anything that isn’t true to them. And they can watch me do it. So they learn, it’s good to be warm, it’s good to be flirty. “
Nobile works with its clients over three month periods. If they get to the first meeting phase, she helps her clients play a role before the appointment, and for nervous clients, she walks her clients through to the appointment, establishing a position in the meeting. bathroom or bar and coaching her. customers via checkins and SMS throughout the night.
“What I’ve discovered working with my clients is that in this generation we feel disconnected. We have all of these devices that are supposed to connect to us, but we feel more alone than ever.
“Love, Amy was born to foster and encourage flirtation again.”
Sysak said he’s not sure what his romantic future holds for him, but said that now that he’s been working with a dating coach, he feels more optimistic.
“Dating can be tough, so it can be helpful to have someone for you,” Sysak said. “It’s good to have a shoulder to lean on. Someone to say, ‘You know what? We’re going to go. Here’s what we’re going to do.'”