Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years. I have been married to an abusive man for 14 years.
My boyfriend knows my background.
Last night I mentioned the prospect of marriage.
In response, he said he did not believe in marriage.
He had previously been engaged to his ex-boyfriend for two years.
In the past, he’s covered many aspects of what our Bachelor / Bachelorette Party is like, the songs he sings while walking down the aisle, the type of engagement ring I love, and so much more. ..
When I brought this to him last night, he said it was a fictitious conversation and that didn’t mean he wanted to get married.
He said the fact that I had been married for 14 years left a bitter taste in his mouth.
I had never had a good marriage, but I dreamed of being happy after that.
He asked if that would break the contract for me, but I didn’t know.
Do I have to sacrifice my desires to appease him because he suddenly doesn’t believe in marriage?
– Do I have a wedding bell?
Dear Nobel: Please stop using the word “shake”. It is a derogatory and negative term used to despise those who choose to live with them.
But since you introduced it, I recommend that you take full responsibility for your own choice to live with someone who doesn’t know that person.
If you don’t want to live with someone without getting married, you need to do the following relationships differently:
Fortunately, after more than two years, you and your man are finally able to communicate your values in a truly realistic way.
In your own story, you give a good reason to leave the relationship.
Your man’s choice to use his past against you is passive-aggressive and rude. Did your marriage and divorce leave a bad taste in her mouth? Yes.
And… are you hanging out with the possibility of getting married, telling yourself the song he’s going to sing while walking down the aisle?
While investigating your question, I saw videos of flowers singing a bride down the aisle. (Homework, everyone!)
I am now quite confident to say that I should never marry a man who wants to sing about you. (By the way, the bride is the same song too.)
The solo will be left at the reception.
You should consider the possibility that a happy life will start naturally the day after you leave this relationship.
Maybe your man will sing to you.
Dear Amy: The daughter of a longtime friend was due to get married last year. My partner and I were invited, but neither the bride nor the other guests knew about it.
We were going to go, but COVID took care of it.
They changed their plans for this year.
I was advised of a date change, but all other details were the same. We weren’t “re-invited” so we weren’t given the opportunity to decline.
The problem is, I don’t want to go.
Includes airline tickets, hotel expenses, luxury winter clothing, etc.
It’s not about the money, it’s just harassment.
I wish I had said no last year. How can you politely decline this year and maintain your friendship?
– I don’t want to attend
For those who do not wish to attend: You can easily and politely decline a wedding that has changed that date, even if you haven’t been officially invited back to that wedding. Make sure you give your family enough notice to adjust your guest list.
You can write to a friend: “I am very happy that Adele’s wedding has been postponed, but unfortunately I cannot attend. I’m sorry I can’t go on a trip.
Send the couple a nice gift, along with a personal note to share your regrets.
Dear Amy: I like your bad advice on your “broken heart”. He received no explanation and a two-hour timer continued to bother her.
Wow! Will she follow this wonderfully simple advice?
Dear fans: In some cases, the answer only describes itself.
“Heart Broken” might not take my advice, but it might enlighten another reader.
(You can email Amy Dickinson. askamyamydickinson.com You can also send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter askamy or Facebook. )